ten songs that changed my life.
every year, at the beginning of a new class of students, i continue to revisit this idea of ‘top 10 songs’ and why we’ve chosen them. it’s been a while since i’ve revisited this playlist, and so now that i’ve updated mine for 2024, i thought it was time to do a deep dive.
in no particular order, let’s explain.
1) “Jesus Christ” - Brand New
i’m pretty sure that in high school, everyone in my incredibly angsty friend group had this song on their list, probably as a prelude to their very lazy deconstruction processes. but for good reason - this song STILL hits hard. simple repetitive guitar riff and drum beat, and lyrics that i’m pretty sure i’ve spoken verbatim to God at some point in life. it’s actually a pretty pertinent theme in my life - music has always been the soundtrack to some of the hardest questions i’ve asked God. also…the emotional yell of the last 3 lines is emo gold.
favorite line:
“Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die, I'm a little bit scared of what comes after.
Do I get the gold chariot? Do I float through the ceiling?”
2) “love is war” - hillsong united
bold statement here - i don’t think any single group has had more of an impact on modern worship music than United. ZION was such a paradigm shifting album for me - until then, i had no idea that music written for church could be so incredibly artistic. the entire album is a no-skip for me, but i’ve always gravitated toward this song because the imagery of love being a fight is just so simple and poignant. faith hasn’t always been a straight line for me…nor do i think it has been for most people. this song is always a reminder to me that my relationship with Jesus is a CHOICE. luke 9:23 tells us to take up our cross daily and follow Jesus. fight to follow. with all that is within you.
favorite line:
“I will fight to follow”
3) “(*fin)” - anberlin
this band was the intro to emo music for me. and honestly, they were my first ‘favorite band.’ the night this album came out, i bought it on iTunes and listened to it 10 times in a row. this was the closing song on the album, and it gets better and better as the song goes on. the song is based on several stories in the writer’s life that shaped his early view on his faith, and to me it’s always been a reminder that all of us are pretty messed up, and God is the only one who can step into that with us.
favorite line:
“Will you stay strong as you promised?
Cause I'm stranded and bare
Meanness has washed up in all that I am
Please God take this and all”
4) “into the sea” - as cities burn
nobody writes weirder guitar riffs than this band. and i love that. i’ve always kind of based some of my screams off of cody from as cities burn. it’s super hard to choose a song off of this album, but whenever i make this playlist there’s always a song from this album. the way that this album deals with elements of faith is so raw and real and abrasive that it continues to resonate with me.
favorite line:
“Though we don't ever see you move
Slowly the wind turns you to sand
In the hands of children on the shore”
5) “here we are after dark” - the dangerous summer
this song has my favorite drum parts of almost any song written, ever. fun fact: i booked this band in 2013 to come play in a friend’s backyard to like 20 people. still one of my favorite moments. if ACB was a model of how i wanted to scream, aj perdomo is probably the single biggest influence on my singing, ever. i sang this song at an open mic night with a friend of mine once, and it may have been one of the first times i ever felt confident in my own skin as a vocalist. this isn’t even my favorite song of theirs…but it’s a reminder to me that it’s okay to be authentic.
favorite line:
“You've still got your voice, so don't just let this die”
6) “a prayer” - king’s kaleidoscope
so when i got fired from the church in 2016, i wasn’t technically fired. i was told in february that at the end of the school year in 3 months that my job wouldn’t exist anymore. so june of 2016 was the first month without this piece of me that i had carried for so long, and i was so incredibly lost and broken. most nights, i didn’t even have words to say and so i just got drunk to avoid processing. this album came out june of 2016, and a lot of people were pretty pissed that a song by a Christian band, especially a song called ‘a prayer’, could feature an f-bomb so prominently. but to be honest, most of my prayers in that season were full of f-bombs. i was so lost, hurt, angry, depressed, anxious, and emotional that all i could do was just let it out. this song brought me through the darkest season of my life and my faith, and will always resonate with me in a way that few songs can.
favorite line:
“jesus where are you? am i still beside you?”
other favorite line:
“I'm right beside you
I feel what you feel
And I'm here to hold you
When death is too real”
7) “too bright to see, too loud to hear” - underøath
it’s so incredibly hard to choose a favorite underoath song. this band introduced me to heavy music and is the reason that i’m a musician. i’m not even going to explain this song…just go listen to it right now.
favorite line:
“Good God, can You still get us home?”
8) “persevere” - gang of youths
the story of this song is incredibly heartbreaking…it was written for a friend of the singer who lost a child shortly after birth. it’s a conversation about faith, between a man who’s lost so much and held onto faith, and someone without much faith trying to make sense of it all. it’s hauntingly beautiful, and continues a theme for me of songs that remind me that sometimes we don’t have all the answers, and God’s big enough to hold it all together in the meantime.
favorite lines:
“But God is full of grace
And his faithfulness is vast
There is safety in the moments
When the shit has hit the fan”
“I live hard 'cause I am scared
That I won't mean anything”
9) “dirty and left out” - the almost
i was part of a worship band in high school…and really we were just a bunch of emo kids trying to fit in. this song was on constant rotation, probably because we were all just stoked that it was the drummer form Underoath, but for me i always connected with this song and its simplicity. i felt so unworthy of God’s love, and so broken that i just didn’t feel like i belonged anywhere. this song always did a great job of pointing me right back to Jesus - the only one who’s ever truly known me.
favorite line:
“Jesus, Jesus,
There's something about your name
Master, savior, Jesus”
10) “the love you want” - sleep token
this may be the most recent song to make this list for me. not only is the technicality and theatricality of this band second to none, but as someone who spent most of their life as a pretty hopeless romantic i just love this one. beautiful vocals, incredible music…few words to describe how much i love this one.
favorite line:
“are you simply waiting to save your love for someone i am not?”