there's been a lingering nausea here in me for the last few days

and I don't know what it's about.

because nothing has changed.

nothing has changed.

and I don't know if it's me or if it's them, or if it's you.

is it inside or is it outside

because nothing has changed.

nothing has changed.

but a lot has changed.

and my outlook has started to turn around.

and my desires have started to shift.

and my demeanor has started to lighten up.

and a lot has changed.

a lot has changed.

but nothing has changed.

because the wandering has become even heavier.

and the strain has grown deeper.

and the habits are still there.

but I think a lot's changed.

and I know that you have made me want to be better,

but you've made me want to be indifferent too.

I need to care

but not because of you.

but because of You.

and not for me.

but all for me.

and i think I've changed. but I don't know if I've changed. and I hope I change. and I know I shouldn't change.

and the nausea is still here.