everything ends someday, pt. 5

everything ends someday,

and a little over a year later,

new things are finally beginning.

it’s a strange feeling,

because it’s just under two years later,

and so much feels similar.

new, but old.

a fresh perspective on an old pattern.

yet the old patterns never really disappear.

we just try to anticipate them and meet them head on.

we come ready to fight.

but we forget sometimes that fighting is tiring.

fighting takes strength.

fighting takes practice.

and sometimes,

it feels as if the fight is going to lead us back to the beginning again,

making us wonder if the fight is worth it.

and so when the moment arrives,

and we find ourselves asking those same questions again -

those same awful, false, dead-end questions again -

the search for answers feels like a fight that we don’t have time to battle again.

but what if,

we weren’t meant to fight?

what if what we’ve been trying to learn all along was not supposed to be the answer?

what if we were supposed to STOP asking the question?

maybe the questions are unanswered because we were never meant to ask them,

because the line of reasoning that got us here was so flawed,

so misguided,

and so evil,

that to answer it would only be an illusion.

we’re trying to solve a puzzle,

but the pieces are literally numbered.

—

dear you,

everything ends someday.

stop solving puzzles that aren’t there to begin with,

and maybe,

just maybe,

you can live with the promise that the numbers don’t lie.